Transitioning Into a Stay at Home Mom
I have always had a lot of respect for stay at home moms, and always respected it as a true job. But I didn’t have a full understanding of what the job entailed until I became one. Being a stay at home mom is such a blessing but it comes with a whole set of challenges.
For one thing, being a stay at home mom means that there is no separation between home and work. This means no commute, but it also means work is always around you. It can be incredibly overwhelming to have no separation of home and work. I found myself feeling like I was just always working and home felt less relaxing, because there was always something to do.
I found creating a set schedule for working or “homemaking” incredibly helpful, for a few days…As many of you may know, children, especially babies are not as good at following schedules as you may be. So I switched to a list of tasks for each day. If I finished everything on my list but still found I had the energy and time to get more done, I would simply add to the list, to give myself proper credit. Of Course, I wasn’t able to add to the list everyday, some days I wasn’t able to finish everything on the list. I would simply move the missed items onto the next day.
One thing that was really important about making these task lists, was adding tasks that were not “homemaking” related. It is important to add things that are just for you, even if it is 30 minutes of reading a book. I personally give myself time to read, blog, respond to followers and exercise. Being a stay at home mom does not mean that you can not be yourself as well. It is important to take care of yourself, so that you are in your best spirits for both your children and partner.
Another big change, was becoming a dependent. My husband and I used to both provide for the household, and now he is the sole provider. This was not only stressful for me, but also for my husband. By all means we are still a team but the weight of responsibilities changed. When we both financially provided for each other, we both did dishes, laundry, cleaned. Of course, when he took on the sole role of providing for the family, I in turn had to take on more responsibility around the house.
It is both wonderful and confusing to be provided for as an adult. It can feel weird to spend money on something for myself, because I wasn’t the one who earned it. And vice versa, sometimes my husband finds himself helping out with switching the laundry or putting away the dishes. Communication is key here, because it’s a lot of change all at once.
One obvious perk of being a stay at home mom, is being able to set your own shifts and schedules, but be fair to yourself. Try and treat “homemaking” as a real job and give yourself credit when you deserve it. But it also means take it seriously, find a routine or a schedule or a way of organizing what you do so that you do your share of taking care of the household. Being a stay at home mom is not for everyone, and there is no shame in it not being the right job for you just as any job.